To Phd or not?

It follows then, in a rather logical—if not entirely rational—course of things, that pursuing higher education is the next step for me. I’m carefully navigating the horrendous reports I’ve received from those who have trodden this path before me, but again—why can’t I? I’m also the first in my family to dare this route, and it feels natural to set the ball rolling for many others to follow—if they want to.

During my MA degree, I encountered both the highs and lows of being in academia—especially within German Studies. I seemed drawn toward this propensity and wanted to pursue it with zeal. I then aligned my interests with the broad array of programs in the U.S. and beyond, made connections, and conducted extensive research. I decided to apply to—get this—five universities in the USA. I was encouraged to cast a wide net, both to increase my chances and because each program I looked into was unique and intriguing.

I got into two of those programs, was waitlisted at one, and received blatant rejections from the rest (you know, those typical impersonal messages; hardly a personal touch). I was, however, comforted that two programs genuinely wanted me, and thus began the dilemma—choosing which one to accept. I consulted friends, peers, and professors, weighing the pros and cons of each, and even did campus visits.

One program even nominated me for a University Fellows Award, meaning I would be part of a “highly reputable” incoming cohort of graduate students. I couldn’t have been more excited. At that point, though, I was also navigating some existential difficulties—not having clearly defined goals, living life in the most aimless way possible. I felt that many aspects of my life needed a reset. I just needed to turn over a new leaf.

So, to PhD or not—that is the question. And yes, I have accepted the offer to pursue a doctoral degree in German Studies at an institution I will be announcing in due course. I am excited, humbled, and grateful for this opportunity to break new ground. With this new platform, I hope to document the journey as an accountability space—for myself and for those to whom I may have some sense of responsibility.

Cheers. 🙂